My Child's World Would Be Better Off Without... (Part 1)

-gate scandals. I hate them. "Spygate", "Nipplegate", "Lindseylohanisadrunkgate." First, why does the news have to make everything into a scandal? Sure, there are some real scandals out there that warrant maybe some attention, but c’mon. The national news has become nothing more than entertainment, looking for anything to make into a scandal.

Now onto the –gate thing. It makes my skin crawl. I mean, Watergate was 40 years ago, and we are still using that suffix as a means to say “hey, look out world, scandal’s a comin’.” Can’t anybody think of another way of presenting this to the public? Let’s take "Spygate" for example. This term has been used to describe the scandal surrounding the New England Patriots’ taping of other teams’ playcalling. Do people with graduate degrees sit around in a fancy boardroom and spend three hours brainstorming these things? And what happens when there is a REAL spy scandal, you know, one that actually affects our national security? Can they use "Spygate" again, or will it have to be something like "Spygate 2, the Sequel" or "The Other Spygate?" Just call it “the scandal surrounding the Patriots” or something like that. But no, that's not sensational enough. That is why a world with -gate is not the kind of world I want my child growing up in.