Let's Play A Little Catch (Up)

Well, its been over a month since my last entry, but here we go. This is going to be a little bit of a catch-up post. First, the pregnancy is very evident now. It seems like most of the physical changes happened in August. The question has changed from the mental "She's putting on a little weight" to audible "So, when are you due." Also, I can now feel him move, his position, etc. As odd as that is for me, I can imagine that its even weirder for my wife to feel. It really makes it all seem real, though, and its very reassuring everytime he moves around.

Next comes the cost reality. Thank God for health insurance. Going to the doctor, pathology tests, ultrasounds, etc. can get pretty expensive real quick. Don't get me started on what I expect WHEN he is born. I feel like a squirrel trying to store acorns for the winter, but unfortunatly there are not too many trees around.

Finally, we've started the transition from "spare room" to "Holden's Nursury." This past weekend, we painted the room and put together the crib. I hated to give up the office, but since we completed the new paint job, I really haven't thought about what that room used to be, and I'm looking forward to completing it and using it come December.

That's about it for a quick update. Now beat it.

"Jeremy spoke in claaaaass todaaayyyy" But Not In The Parker Household

Pregnancy can be a crazy time, and can do some wierd things to women. In previous posts, I have touched on some of Colleen's food aversions, such as bacon and bar-b-que, but nothing is as weird as her latest one... Eddie Vedder. Yes, that's right. My wife has an audible aversion to the voice of Pearl Jam. She even gets a little agitated when I mention his name. And watch "Into The Wild," a movie that she used to enjoy and that graciously features the music of Eddie V? Forget about it. She just can't handle it since the second trimester started. I've read about weird cravings and other things that pregnant women go through, but this has got to be one of the weirdest. So what's next? Lets hope the same fate doesn't befall Football and Mexican food, or I might be in for a long Autumn. That's it for tonight; I have to get back to eating my BBQ Ribs and cranking "Evenflow." (And no, I'm not really that bad of a husband).

With a 96.8% certainty, we know the baby is a....

...healthy fetus. We went to the new doctor at Baptist Hospital Thursday, for a kinda new patient orientation/13-week checkup. We thought it was a 14-week checkup going in, but Nashville OB/GYN believes our due date to be December 19th, not the 13th like Murfreesboro OB/GYN earlier predicted. Anyways, we were excited to meet the new doctor. When we arrived, we were greeted with the same initial questions(last period?, family health history?, etc.). Then, we got a chance to meet with the new doc, hear her speech on pregnancy, and ask her questions. She was nice, and seemed smart enough to trust my future child to, so I was happy with our choice by the time the discussion ended. In the end, she thanked us and said that she looked forward to seeing us in a few weeks.

As she left the room, Colleen and I looked at each other, dissapointed that we weren't going to get an ultrasound that day. As we prepared to leave, the doctor came back in with the fetal heartbeat moniter and asked us if we wanted to hear the heartbeat. The answer was obviously yes. Once again, like the previous time, the doc had a difficult time finding the heartbeat, which made us nervous. After about 5 minutes of searching and not finding the heartbeat, she decided to send us over to have an ultrasound, just to make sure everything was okay. We gladly accepted the invitation, and went over. The ultrasound tech was very nice, and was able to get some great shots of ther baby. Sure enough, everything was great. We were able to see the heart beating, and could also see fingers, facial features, legs, and other stuff. After a good 10 minutes there, we left excited to have seen the baby and were very happy with our new doctor.

And by the way, it's a boy.

If That Makes Me A Creep, Then I Guess I'm A Creep.

For any of you reading this who already have kids, I have a question: Is it a bit creepy when you see a grown man looking at your kids? Now before you get the wrong idea, I pose this question because ever since I found out that I was going to be a father, it seems that I've noticed families and small children more. Before, small kids in certain situations could sometimes be a nuisence. Now, when I see a family eating together or in the airport, I start to anticipate the day when I can do the same with my own little Parker. I really feel like some sort of weirdo when I catch myself glancing, but believe me I'm not trying to be. The last thing I want to do is be Steve Stare. So, while you might see me unconciously catch a glance at your family, you can rest assured that you will never see me on an episode of "To Catch A Predator."

So That Is What's Goin On In There?

Normally, a trip to the doctor is as unpleasant as being in a long airport security line behind a group of uninformed fliers. Monday was different; Monday was the 10-week doctor’s appointment. Going in, my expectations were cloudy. I had heard that they let you hear the heartbeat, and I had heard that they might do an ultrasound. That’s about all I knew when we walked in. When we got there, they took us back, asked the normal questions, and took Colleen’s weight. After that, we were taken to an examination room. As a side note, for all the men reading this, those rooms are a bit uncomfortable. Nothing like staring at a poster explaining menopause and a plastic diagram of a woman’s reproductive system to make you feel masculine.

Anyways, the doctor came in and started explaining the road that lies ahead of us with the pregnancy. Then came the heartbeat monitor. Amazing. First off, she found Colleen’s pulse. Then after what seemed like an eternity of searching, she found the baby’s heartbeat. It was really cool to actually hear the life that lives inside Colleen. But no, the fun doesn’t end there. Then came the ultrasound. Words can’t explain how cool it is actually seeing a picture of the little life that you have created for the first time. We got to see it live on the screen as he/she moved around, and at the end they gave us a few still shots to take with us. After giving us pretty much two months worth of vitamin samples (I’ll have to remember to ask again at our next appointment, and so on…), we headed out excited, first that the baby was ok and second that we were able to add pictures and sounds to the pregnancy.

On a final note, I have the tendency to feel that I don’t take enough advantage of great moments, and I left the doctor feeling that way. Although it was one of those great moments in life, I just felt I didn't give it enough. Honestly, though, what are you supposed to do? Weep with happiness? Do the Charleston? Eh, whatever, it was still one of those things that make life great.

Week 9

Time for the ole weekly update. I started the week off in Orlando, on another auction trip. Man, I love the traveling for business, but some of these 2-day auction trips are getting difficult. Anyways, my flight down there Monday morning was full of a rowdy group of sixth graders on their way to Disney World. Normally, I would be upset when faced with a two-hour flight full of loud, excited kids, but this was a bit different. It was actually a group from my alma mater, Davidson Academy. The sixth grade Disney trip has been a rite of passage for students there for I guess almost 20 years, including way back in 1992 for a 12 year old little Nicky. Of course, I did a little reminicing. It also made me realize how far I've come since then, and was another reminder of the life I still have ahead of me.

After a few more days of work, Colleen and I set off for BBQ Fest in Memphis, TN. I can only describe it a massive celebration of all things Pig (and other tasty animals). Anyways, I have a friend that is part of a competition team, and he invited us to come hang out all weekend as honorary team members. We had a blast, although I ate WAY too much and stayed up WAY too late. The biggest surprise was that Colleen was able to put up with it. Not only did she have to sit around for hours with a bunch of strangers, but she had to do it surrounded by one of those foods that she has an aversion to now. I don't know how she did it, because that place was shrouded in a cloud of BBQ smoke. Anyway, she did it, and it actually didn't bother her as much as I thought it would. Don't get me wrong, she wanted to go and hang out with friends, but I know that she had to put up with a lot and it makes me appreciate her as a wife that much more. I guess I owe her one.

Well, we finally made it back this afternoon and did some (healthier) grocery shopping. Time to start focusing more on her (and my) good eating habits, for what's in her belly as it grows and so mine will stop. I guess that's about it. I'm still trying to recover from my food coma, and I have to get up early tommorow for our big 10th week gynocologist appointment. I'll update what happens with that in the next few days.

Week 8

Well, Week 8 has come and gone, and not much new. I’m still amazed at how finicky Colleen’s tastes have become. Foods she once loved have turned into arch-enemies, just waiting in the shadows to pop out and make her nauseous. Of course, this is affected my diet as well, cause if she ain’t happy, I ain’t happy.

Also, I’m amazed at how excited people get when you are expecting. We have received many cards from friends and family, of which we are grateful. Also, I can tell complete strangers, and most of the time, receive sincere congrats.

Finally, Mothers Day was yesterday. We spent the weekend up in Gatlinburg celebrating my brother’s college graduation (finally). Colleen got her first taste of being a mom, with a few cards and Mothers Day gifts. All told, it was a great weekend. I even extended my domination of Colleen in sports-type things with three straight 8-ball victories and a putt-putt triumph.

Oh yeah, and who knew a diamond commercial could make a grown woman weep? Those DeBeers guys know how to advertise.

My Child's World Would Be Better Off Without... (Part 1)

-gate scandals. I hate them. "Spygate", "Nipplegate", "Lindseylohanisadrunkgate." First, why does the news have to make everything into a scandal? Sure, there are some real scandals out there that warrant maybe some attention, but c’mon. The national news has become nothing more than entertainment, looking for anything to make into a scandal.

Now onto the –gate thing. It makes my skin crawl. I mean, Watergate was 40 years ago, and we are still using that suffix as a means to say “hey, look out world, scandal’s a comin’.” Can’t anybody think of another way of presenting this to the public? Let’s take "Spygate" for example. This term has been used to describe the scandal surrounding the New England Patriots’ taping of other teams’ playcalling. Do people with graduate degrees sit around in a fancy boardroom and spend three hours brainstorming these things? And what happens when there is a REAL spy scandal, you know, one that actually affects our national security? Can they use "Spygate" again, or will it have to be something like "Spygate 2, the Sequel" or "The Other Spygate?" Just call it “the scandal surrounding the Patriots” or something like that. But no, that's not sensational enough. That is why a world with -gate is not the kind of world I want my child growing up in.

The Big Reveal

Ever since we found out, Colleen and I decided that her graduation party would be the setting for the announcement. All of her immediate family would be in town from Ohio, and my family would be present as well. It was the perfect opportunity. I woke up early that morning, eager to spread the big news. But first, we had the matter of Colleen's graduation ceremony from MTSU. Yes, we are all very proud of her. I was nervous through the whole ceremony.

So the plan for the afternoon was to have an open house at our place. The whole family was invited, as well as some of our friends. Ideally, our plan was to have the family there early in order to make the announcement to them, but the length of the graduation ceremony and traffic leaving Murfreesboro foiled that. In fact, Colleen and I showed up late for the shindig. So by the time we got home, it was time to serve the guests lunch and entertain. It was quite an untertaking to get everybody together to make the presentation, but we finally did. We brought our parents together, thanked them for their support, and gave each couple a wrapped gift to open simultaniously. Well, you should have seen their reaction when they opened them up to find a picture frame with a message in it reading "12/13/08. Save The Date." It took only a few seconds for the news to spread throughout the room, and soon we were engulfed by congrats and well-wishes. It was just the perfect ending to a great day and a huge relief. Now we could share our excitement with others.

So, lets play a little catch up.

Keeping a secret is tough. Not telling the world that you are going to be a father is torture. Thats what my wife and I did for three weeks. I was constantly dodging questions from friends and family members...you know, those questions that every young married couple hears like "So, when are you guys gonna start trying to have a baby." Now, I have always done my best to avoid lying, in fact I hate liers almost as much as I hate theives, but sometimes I had to "dodge" a few questions. But for those of you I "dodged," forgive me.

Monday, April 21st. The Doctor
This was probably the biggest "story" we had to come up with. Normally, it would have been a little odd for both of us to go to a doctor's appointment together, but we told our parents that it was a follow-up to a recent surgery that she had and that she wanted me there for support. Luckily, it worked, and nobody thought any more of it. As for the appointment, it was basically a $25, 10 minute confirmation of what we already knew.

Besides the story-telling and creative answers, most of the first three weeks were filled with purchasing books, buying supplies, and worrying about where the money was going to come from. Colleen began experiencing what I guess is called "morning sickness" and aversions to certain foods. Even the mere mention of things like chicken bacon chalupas made her turn green in the face and black in the heart. Rule #1: Never, Ever make a pregnant woman mad! Most days, she would have periods of nausea. Also, I noticed that she was becoming more fatigued. I guess it didn't help that she was preparing for finals and working 30+ hours a week.

Well, its getting late, and I guess that is about all of the important points of the first weeks. If you haven't bored yourself to tears yet reading this blog, then you just wait. I got 7 more months to go.

It Begins

The Day: Sunday, April 13th. For months, Colleen had been tracking her temperature every morning. Apparently, this is some sort of method to detect ovulation cycles or something. All I know is that it meant the alarm clock went off at 5:30 every morning, and subsequently our dog Jackson started whining to go out. For about a week, her temperature had been stedily high every morning, so we decided it was a good time to take a pregnancy test. It felt like Christmas morning for me, waking up to find what Santa had left under the tree. Only Santa was Colleen, and under the perverbial tree was a long plastic stick with a plus sign. Needless to say, her and I were as excited as half asleep people could be. We had to somewhat contain our excitement though, because her mother had been staying with us for the weekend in the other bedroom, and we wanted to keep it a secret until we could officially confirm the results with the doctor.

So what do you do when you find out your wife is pregnant? Do you start weeping uncontrollably? Maybe start talking like a psycho to her belly? No. Real men break out the laptop and immediatly start Googling "pregnancy." So picture me laying in bed on my computer, looking for any information I can find on nutrition, what to expect, and other relavent topics. I wanted to make sure from that point we were doing all the right things. Its amazing what a great resource the Internet is for pregnancy information, but if you read too much, you will think that there is no possible way to live in today's world and have a healthy baby. Everything from water contamination to chemicals in plastic bottles are out to destroy the fetus. Even hot dogs supposably cause problems.

After randomly visiting websites for about an hour, I decided I didn't need to read any more fear-mongering, and put the computer up. I just needed to lay there and enjoy the moment. I mean, think about it...I am going to be a dad. My wife and I had created life. Its really something that you can't grasp fully until it happens. You can try, you can plan, and you can wonder, but you never know how important it is until it actually happens. I was determined to do everything I could to keep Colleen and the baby healthy. I knew that whatever happened from that point, it was going to be one of the biggest things I would ever do with my life on Earth.

Here goes...

So, either I'm officially part of the cool kids club now, or just another nerd on the Internet, but this is my first attempt at a blog. I guess up until this point, I haven't had enough world-changing stories or ideas to share (and I guess I still don't), but I thought it might be interesting to share my next several months with anybody bored enough to read about them. You see, God has decided that there weren't enough Parkers, so He has decided that my wife Colleen and I would be the chosen ones to bless the world with another one. For those of you who know me, you might be seeing this as the seventh sign of the Apocolypse. Before you rush to the store for canned foods and holy water, I want to assure you that I am prepared for the challenge. Actually, Im thrilled. Deep down, there was always a nagging worry that I would never be able to do this. Now that I know I can, it is a little bit of weight of of my shoulders (insert Tim Taylor man grunt here).

I'm going to do my best to keep this thing entertaining, because frankly I do not want to be the only one reading it. My friends know that I can be pretty random (ok, very random), and I'm sure that this blog will not be any different. Although the main theme is the future lil' Parker, my point is to document my life during this time. From doctor appointments, to everyday life, to sports - everything is fair game here. And so, I will try to live by the words of Neil Page: "By the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!"